The balance

Today is all about the balance – between work, school, kids and auditioning. I disappeared last week I know. It was a rough week. The boys were in New York again on Monday and then the rest of the week absolutely flew by. Wrestling practices started too. Here we are a week later, and the boys are traveling back to New York in just a few hours. We put everyone on the bus this morning, but Al will be getting two of them shortly and heading into the city for an audition this afternoon.

And it feels so strange to be staying here while they go. Since the twins were 5, I have been on just about every single audition ever. I have only missed one and it was for something local. If we are traveling, I don’t stay behind. Last night we gave our oldest the choice. Free day out of school, trip to New York … or school and wrestling. He chose school and wrestling. On one hand I am super impressed. On the other, I wanted all of us to be in New York. When it’s all five of us, we try to build in an extra stop to do something together.

I packed the Go Bag last night, charged up all the electronics, put aside the audition outfits (as well as backups just in case), and sent the boys off to school with a note for the teacher to please send them out today with extra work so they don’t miss anything. It’s how they roll every time. They do all the work they can in the car on the drive in, then they can do things in the Go Bag. Anything they couldn’t get done workwise or need help with, we work on later that night or the next morning before they are back in school again. It all goes back completed the very next day.

They happen to luck out today since there is no school due to the holiday tomorrow. They will have an extra day to complete things if they need it.

Today, I will help the Big Guy with his homework after school, we will have dinner together and then go to wrestling practice. Just the two of us. No brothers in tow. I’m excited to spend some time with just him. It’s always tough though. You feel like you should be with everyone. I worry about whoever I am not with. Maybe that’s just a mom thing. Usually, I’m worrying about the Big Guy when we are in NY (who I know is being well taken care of) … today I will be worrying about the other two because they are traveling without me (and I know they will be just fine too). It’s a weird thing having pieces of your heart go in different directions.

While they won’t make it back in time today to join their brother at wrestling practice, I can’t tell you how many days have them running from school to an audition to practice with homework after that. It can get totally crazy. I’m happy they will all have a day to just relax tomorrow. It feels like such a fine line when it comes to doing too much and I worry about all of them. They don’t want to drop sports, they don’t want to drop music lessons, and they don’t want to stop acting. I have asked time and time again when I feel like something needs to give somewhere. I don’t know where they get the energy.

They may get cranky, or complain about the hours they spend in the car … but we ask them after each and every audition or job. Do you want to do this again? Do you still like it? So far, the answer has always been yes – we want to do more. I guess my only piece of advice today is this. No matter how crazy things get (and they will get crazy), make sure you are always stopping to make sure this is still something they want to do.

When it comes to sports, my guys know they need to finish out any season they start – though they won’t have to play again the following year if they don’t want to. It’s about not letting the team down and finishing what you start. Anything else though? If they are done they are done. I don’t ever want to be that parent pushing my kids to act and audition if they decide it’s not what they want anymore. For now they are still loving it. And I’m still working on trying to balance it all for them.

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